A piece of me

They say a girl’s first true love is the one that sticks with her till the end of time

So why haven’t i experienced mine?

Every night i close my eyes and try to draw images of you but i’m left with a blank page

I try to play happy scenarios in my head but all i get is sadness and a harsh wave of reality that i would never get to experience my first love

Sometimes i feel abandoned but how can i be abandoned if i was never accepted?

I try to move on with the other half of my heart but i see the scars you left on her body

I see her try to fill the void you left

I see her cry at night because she believes she isn’t enough

The hatred i feel towards you grows

This hate is eating me up

Now i go about with little to no expectations from man

Now i can barely hold a conversation with a man without seeing your reflection

They say to move on

How can i move on from something holding me down?

If only i could control it, like a magician i would wave my wand and “abracadabra” it into thin air

But i’m a slave to it

Everyday i wake up, chained, trying to break loose

But they’re too strong

So i give in , so i don’t lose the last strength left in me

My first love ruined me

Thank you Dad

5 thoughts on “A piece of me

  1. I’ve been crying since I read this. It’s just soooo…too much but I know you’ll heal, my babygirl. You will heal and be fine cos you’re strong and God’s got you. You will look back on this day and smile at how far you’ve come. Hold on and don’t give in. It’s all gonna end in praise. 🤗❤😍

    Like

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