This was a very challenging post for me,it took me time to figure out how to express myself and even when I did, it took a lot of courage to decide to share it. I featured a friend of mine , Fope, who wrote a poem that will be referenced in the post.
Insecurity, such a simple name for an emotionally entangling feeling. It is something we have all felt one point in our lives.
Lord, increase in me that I might decrease in myself.
Renew me from the inside out. Renew my body, mind, spirit andsoul.
Give me the ability to submit my burdens at your feet.
Insecurities? What are they?
It’s that force that puts you in a place of shame and comparison.
There’s no one who hasn’t experienced it. The different forms like an unbearable weight
Tying in with the physical weight, the one you’re trying so hard to shed.
“Your daughter is really fat, she must be consuming all the food at home” were the words I grew up hearing. Anytime I went out with my mum, people made those shady comments about my weight and it affected me and made me hate my body. I wanted to be slim, to be like the girls people seemed to adore; I started starving myself , I would eat less and although I was never satisfied, I wouldn’t mind because I knew I had a “goal”. I wish i never did because that happened to be the biggest mistake of my life.
Just so you can fit into the social construct of the norm, so you can be accepted and fit into these tight boxes?
No, not anymore. Be that deviant, the exception, the “abnormaI”one.
In fact be slim thick in your confidence and who you are.
A creation of the creator himself is perfect in his eyes.
A creation of the creator himself is flawless and without blemish.
Maybe not to you, but to him you are.
A creation personally crafted and created in his own image.
Hahahaha yet you’re worried about what mere mortals have to say?
When the only opinion, the only say that matters is God’s.
Listen, I’m not saying don’t be the best you. If you know you’re not happy with the way you are, you look or something then change
I lost wieght and the same society that trolled me for being fat, called me sick because my weight loss was drastic. I was told to go to the hospital, was called pale and malnourished.
I tried gaining weight back but my body had gotten used to eating once a day and so it was a battle gaining weight. The only way I gained weight was when I used supplements, The supplements really took a toll on me, they made me weak and useless whenever I used them, but I didn’t mind not being able to do anything other than sleep all day.
Whenever I added weight, I woud feel stuffed and fat and run back to starving myself. It became a repeated toxic cycle. I thought losing weight would make me love myself but it ended up damaging me. I tried gaining weight but those words kept coming back to me.
I have not fully recovered from it , I find myself falling in and out of love with my body, and my weight fluctuating . I still feel irritated by what I see staring back at me in the mirror sometimes,but I am learning to love my body regardlesss of what anyone thinks.
What I’m saying is STOP participating in disordered eating.
You don’t have to have an eating disorder to have disordered eating patterns. They’re different.
Stop forcing and prepping yourself to act, think, look like someone else.
Start searching and prepping yourself to act, think, and look like the unique, special person you are supposed to be.
Stop being a photocopy of someone else’s body.
Stop endangering your physical, mental and physiological health.
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Pressure makes diamonds and there’s still so much clarity to be clarified.
Be confident in your skin, your ideologies, be confident in who you are and what you are.
We’ve all heard many times “you’re unique, there is no one else like you, you’re peculiar, one of a kind, different”.
We hear but we don’t believe. It’s okay to feel insecure sometimes. I do.
What’s not okay is letting those insecurities be nothing more than a fleeting emotion. What’s not okay is letting those insecurities defeat, define, determine who you are.
We are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession. think it’s time we believe in the words and start acting in line with it.
INSECURE NO MORE!
Our new meaning of insecurity should be….
Invest in worthwhile, Necessary
I- I have spent a long time trying to tell myself I’m better than this.
N- Now I’m come to a place where I’m no longer insecure.
S- Sometimes I still doubt….
E- Especially when time and time again,
C- Comparisons flash through my mind
U- Undoubtedly tearing to shreds all my brick walls.
R- Rest in the fact I am not of this world so it’s okay…
E- Eternally perfect but notmortally perfect. I can dealwith that.I’m okay with that. So should you.
My go to word..
Romans 12:2- “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is his good, pleasing and perfect will.”